Insecurity

Rough word. Tonight it really kind of hit me, I guess. Josh is in Austin and I'm spending the night in the Grand Forks Airport. Tonight he went out with old friends of his. That's the dilemma. I can't expect him to stay home every night that I'm gone but at the same time I feel left out.

Here I am. Moving to another city, another state, where I don't have any relationships with anyone other than people he already knows. That part really kind of sucks. I will be commuting back and forth from Austin to Salt Lake City to start my trips. A three hour flight there and a three hour flight back on each end of my 4-5 day trips. It's going to be difficult to find my groove there. I'm not going to want to go out every night I'm home. I'm going to want to relax from being on the road for soo long. I'm going to want alone time with Josh since I'll be gone soo much. So how am I going to manage this? It's frustrating. Just tonight he ran into an old friend, went to another friend's birthday gig at a bar, and here I am a thousand miles away. I'm going to always be missing out on things with other people and Josh will be going without me. His girlfriend will never be around. That's going to suck. I'm being negative I know. But it really hit me tonight that's how it's going to be. I don't want him to sit at home but at the same time I don't want me to miss out on everything. That's going to make it really difficult to build friendships with people in Austin as well as maintain the few that I have in Utah. Am I being selfish? Is it just insecurity because of all the changes?

Guilty Conscience & Ramble

It's that time of year when you're suppose to be with your family. But this year since I'm spending Christmas in Austin, Texas with Josh and his family it feels a bit weird. I know they seem excited to have me there this year but I still feel bad that I haven't been to Sedalia lately to see my own family. With Josh's new job we should be able to get to Missouri soon. We have too.

I think a large part of me going to Austin this year is because we are moving there. I'm trying to adjust as much as possible because it's going to be a lot different for me now. Plus, to add on commuting. Ugh I don't even want to think about it. I'm going to have to really figure out how to get back and forth to Salt Lake city. Pluse since it's costing us soo much to move (money we don't have, really) I won't even have a car to drive in Austin since we are leaving mine in SLC for now. Really it will stay there. There is no way that car will ever make it to Texas, HA! So it's going to take some time before I can get one in Austin. So Josh and I are going to have to figure out how to get me back and forth to the airport with his work schedule. We're soo off the point of this blog!

Anyways, I've been asking Josh a lot what they do on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It's going to be different not going to the Candlelight service like Brittany and I used to. That's certainly going to be a priority when we move is to find a Lutheran Church. I miss going and it's something I certainly want to get back into.

I'm going to have to fly on 3 flights tomorrow to get from Grand Forks, ND to Austin, TX. As long as I can get on each of them then I will be there by 1 PM. Which would be perfect and I could possibly get a quick nap when I get there. I'm sure I'm going to be exhausted. Josh said his Mom normally makes chicken tortilla soup (it's soo yummy and now that I have crockpot I can attempt to make it too) and people come by randomally. And then on Christmas afternoon we will go to his aunt and uncle's home for dinner. These are all people I already know so it's not like I'm meeting them all for the first time. I guess it feels wierd to be there with his family and not my own. I've never experienced that before. I guess I'm probably just worrying about nothing! I'll update tomorrow with my travel experience!

25 Minutes

It's December. It's Minneapolis. It's a large airport with several different terminals. Did I mention it's December?! The last time I checked, that's a winter month. This is the time of year where there is SNOW, FREEZING RAIN, ICE, and MORE SNOW. So ummm, I think that means you might need to allow yourself more time then you would say, during a summer month when it's warm and sunny.

My point, you ask? Well, let's see. You might need to actually ALLOW yourself time for delays PEOPLE! Let's go over this, step by step. You're starting in a warm sunny place and it's the middle of winter AND a holiday but you're flying through let's say Minneapolis or Chicago. A 25 minute connection is NOT going to happen. I'm almost willing to bet my life on it. I'm serious! Now, let's say you start somewhere COLD, depending on the weather (it IS winter) you will most likely have to de-ice. Yeah, that takes TIME! Everything and I mean EVERYTHING runs slower when it's cold. Don't expect the ramp crews to bust their butts running around the ramp with the chance of slipping on something. It's not worth it to them. And no, I have no idea of you're bag will make it. On top of it, especially if it is a holiday, be prepared that if you miss your flight (due to weather) you will be placed on standby for the next available flight. Flights are full this time of year so plan to sit in the airport for a while.

So today, we left on time. In the middle of our 30 minute flight (for a flight blocked for at least an hour) a passenger freaks out about his connection time. A scheduled 25 minute connection through Minneapolis in the middle of December right before Christmas. His connecting flight, of course, was on the opposite side of the airport. We de-iced in Fargo, and then arrived 25 minutes early. But, yup, it was all MY fault. Love it.

So, do this:

• Allow yourself at least a two hour layover (this allows time for de-icing, real bathroom breaks, time to get food, or just running to your next gate on the opposite side of the airport)
• Pack some snacks (you can take food! and this way you can save money and time if you don't get the opportunity to get something in the airport on the way to your next flight)
• Carry a water bottle (you can fill it up at a water fountain anywhere in the airport!!!)
• Be nice to airport personnel (we didn't ruin your trip so don't ruin our day!)
• Dress Appropriately! ( just cause you initiate your trip in Hawaii doesn't mean the flight will be that warm or your destination will be)
• Don't Fly Sick

There's my rant for today!

My Baggage!

Ever wonder how us flight attendants pack for so many days?! Ha! It's a science. A project that being OCD definitely helps with. It all starts with an empty suitcase and I learned early on that have a GOOD bag is the key! This week is a 5 day trip but on top of that there are two more additional days. Josh is meeting me at the airport when I get in from my trip so that we can fly to Austin together.

So here we go!!!

So this is level one. Two pairs of tennis shoes, one pair of jeans, workout pants, one pair of dress pants, 2 t-shirts, 2 tank tops, 3 regular tops, and pajama bottoms and an extra workshirt and bottoms (this amount of clothes is abnormal for flight crews! Normally we just take 1 outfit, workout clothes and additional uniform pieces).

I just honestly adore this pocket. all undergarments get shoved in here (and my single sheet for laundry-this is the best thing ever! you stick it in the washer and it follows the clothes into the dryer. perfect for doing laundry in a hotel!!!)

This zipper pocket (full length of the bag itself is perfect for stuffing in the flip flops!

I got this zippered pouch from a previous suitcase and it's been used for many purposes but has finally found it's permanent use. I stick every liquid in here. Since we are not required to follow the 3-1-1 rule we are allowed to bring what we need. So I have it all!

And the pajama pants go on top and this is a finished suitcase! I have 7 days worht of clothes, 4 pairs of shoes, and all the liquids I could need, as well as the device for my neck in this one bag!

This thing is amazing! I found this in the crew store and it's a jewelry case!

There are 3 zippered pockets, holes for earrings and a spectacular idea for the rings!

We do normally care additional bags. This one hold my inflight manual, small netbook, and inflight shoes (what you thought I wore heels the entire 12 hour day?!) All those colred cloths beneath are all the extra scarves we have!

This has two books, one to read and my ming strengthening sudoku, liqor paperwork, extra pens, etc.

The BASICS! We can't stink! We can't have lent all over us! Some of us live off of the Emergen-C stuff (obviously not me because that's why I need the added Nyquil!)

There is one more bag. The FOOD bag!!! This is probably the most importnat. We rarely have time to stop and get food in between flights. Plus it's SOO expensive and very unhealthy. So having some basics in tow with us in necessary!

Rest? What's THAT?!

I'm stinkin' pooped! My last trip was a crazy one. Our last overnight was in Fargo and we were aware that there was a winter storm coming through. It was suppose to hit Fargo as well as Minneapolis as well. Our plane that we brought in was suppose to go back to MSP for a quick round trip and end up back in Fargo for us to take to SLC (our last flight and our way home) the next morning. Well Well well....that certainly didn't happen. I had this perfect plan for Josh to meet me at the airport and we were going to be flying together on the morning flight to Austin. This was an important trip because it was our only chance to find an apartment. I was looking online and saw that my trip had been modified. Sure enough, they had canceled our flight home to SLC for the following day. My heart just sunk. This was going to make things harder.

I started looking for different ways home to SLC or ways to Austin, meaning Josh would have to nonrev alone. I ended up taking my now original deadheads planned by the company to get home. By the time that I got to Denver though, everything was getting delayed. I luckily found on time flight on SouthWest to SLC. I actually got home earlier than scheduled. Josh picked me up and we got to have a quick dinner together before heading back to the airport. We landed in Austin around 11:30 PM (after being up since 8AM in Fargo!!!) We had lost a day of finding an apartment. So the next morning, We headed out (of course after his mom Julie made a wonderful breakfast!) and started our journey. We hit up the first one that we had been looking at a lot online. Then we headed to the complex called Riatta which is the area in Austin that Josh will be working on. The complex was amazing! It was made up of 5 different villages, there were several amazing amenities, but the apartments themselves were small and we would have had to sell furniture to make it work. We wanted an apartment that worked for us, not one that we had to change for. Josh had the misunderstanding that I really wanted this apartment. I just didn't like the kitchen in our first apartment that we looked at but I certainly wasn't willing to move in somewhere that was going to cost us more than what we wanted or what we were getting for for our money. It was a rough day and 4 hours wasn't enough to find an apartment, especially since I needed to leave that night for SLC while josh stayed behind in Austin. I have to say, it was nice to have parental figures around to line us out. It didn't matter where we live, at the end of the day it was just going to be us. I chose to stay in Austin for one more night and we would go do the application for the first apartment. We were excited and really it was a relief to just know we were getting an apartment. Ha! Definitely didn't go as planned. When they ran the app it came back denying me. I was shocked by the information saying that I had been evicted previously. I've never been evicted! I disputed the information with the third party company that they use. What a mess! It takes a minimum of 30 days but can take even longer to get it off of my record. Stressful!!!

We were back at square one since we didn't get approved and because of the situation the complex wouldn't make any exceptions. I flew back to SLC and was stressed. We didn't have an apartment, Josh was staying in Austin, I was going to start packing our apartment in SLC, give our notice to our current complex, and start working yet another 5 day trip, and I was staying in SLc without Josh there. That was the awful part. Now I know what it feels like when I'm gone. I don't like it. The next day I took user time for the first round trip so that I could continue the dispute but try to find us a place to live. I was definitely getting frustrated. I even started looking at Craigslist.com . . . talk about being at the bottom. I found an apartment locator though and called just to inquire about what I should do about this information on my record. She ended up being a great blessing. She found us a place to approve us (with a small additional deposit) and Josh checked it out and dealt with it while I was gone. I am soo appreciative that he helped out like he did and took control of it while I was gone. So here is the new apartment:

http://p1-prod.ingconnect.net/public/g2.asp?SID=thedblyean

At the top if you click on the 2-1 floor plan, that will be ours on December 31st. It's a relief to have an apartment and have a plan. Now to just come up with all the money. Moving is soo expensive. We had been planning on Josh getting relocation funds and that hasn't gone through. It will all work out and things will be tight financially for a bit but we've already gone through that once and we can do that again.

So tomorrow I get home from this trip. We have a lot to do still. And then Monday I'm leaving again for a 5 day trip and Josh is heading back to Austin. My trip ends technically on the 24th but those are all deadheads so I will be nonreving all over the country to get to Austin for Christmas. Still trying to find a way to get to Missouri shortly as well.

I'm definitely tired and exhausted. I figure I can rest when we drive from SLC to Austin. Josh has already said that he isn't going to let me drive. Boo!!! But that will allow me to take care of Molly and Aiden and keep them calm on the move. Poor Molly will be a mess. She's just soo tense anyways. Aiden though, it will barely touch him at all. He's soo laid back. Looking forward to it all though. It will all work out.

Amazing HOTEL!!!

I began gettin sick on my day off after working 9 straight. That's right, 9 days straight of flying multiple flights in day. No wonder I'm not feeling well. When I woke up yesterday I was coughing more and was having a hard time keeping my voice. I made it through the day but the coughing wasn't giving up so easily. I'd been taking good healthy double doeses of Nyquil at home. At 1 AM here in Fargo, North Dakota (where it was only 7 degrees at the time) I was walking to the nearest gas station buying MORE Nyquil so that I could sleep. This morning though, I was 10x worse. I couldn't swallow, headache, and wasn't having difficulty breathing. I knew breakfast was ending early (9AM here) but I couldn't drag myself out of bed. I finally awoke at 9:45 AM and made my way downstairs to find breakfast completely finished and cleaned up and put away. DEVASTING!!! I asked the front desk with my barely there voice if I could possibly have some milk (I always bring my own cereal). There were two staff members enjoying thier coffee in the breakfast area and to my surprise, we're extremely caring. When I asked for milk they pffered me cereal, yogurt, and fruit. When they realized that I was ill they jumped up and made me some lemon ginseng hot tea with lemon and made sure I had extra to take to my room with me. Most hotels NEVER EVER do this. You miss breakfast...well doesn't that suck for you. Many would have sent you to walk in the weather to the gas station to get your milk and certainly wouldn't have made tea for you. I noticed the manager at the front desk and complemented him on his amazing caring staff. As a flight attendant we know we're on our own when we're in hotels and to stay somewhere where the staff honestly cares, there is nothing better. Lucky for me we stay here 2 more additional nights. Hopefully I can start to feel better.

A Move To Austin

It's been a secret for a while. A few months ago, Josh applied for a Junior Fraud Analyst position for the company he currently works for. They have an office in Austin as well and this position became available. He always, on a regular basis, looked for positions in Austin so that he could move back. Since he is a criminal justice major this just seemed like a silver lining. Here it is, a job in his field although he's not done with school, in Austin, staring him in the face. He applied and after weeks and weeks of phone interviews, paperwork, background checks, etc, . . . .we're moving.


From the very begining he said he wouldn't go if I didn't. That's a hard thing to imagine. This wasn't an opportunity he could pass up. We've come soo far that this is something that you just have to stand behind with faith that it will all work out. This was something that I certainly played with in my mind on whether or not I should go. I kept going back to a similar situation in my past and although I was comparing them, they really weren't comparable at all. All circumstances are completely different! It took me a while to realize that. So I'm standing behind my decision to go and be supportive knowing that there will be benefits for me personally down the road.


Everyone has inquired how this will affe ct my job. It simply won't...well not too much. Things will certainly be different. I will be commuting back and forth to SLC (flying as a non revenue passenger, 3 hours each way) to start and finish my trips for work. As for right now I will still try to work at least 100 hours. Two of my friends are going to attempt to bid to fly with me so that we can still see one another. We'll see if they can stay caught up with me on my schedule flying as much as I do!!! We are leaving my car in SLC 1) because I don't think it will make it to Austin and 2) so that if I get stuck I have a way to my friends' apartments if they aren't home. I will still be continuing my medical treatment in SLC as well for my back and neck. Hopefully, if and when I get my settlement from the car accident I can not fly as much or go to part time and really get established in Austin. This transition will not be easy.


The plan is to fly to Austin this weekend and look for an apartment. Possibly sign a lease as well. Josh is staying behind while I fly back to Salt Lake City to go back to work. He will have an opportunity to meet with his future co-workers. Then we will be spending Christmas in Austin, flying back to SLC on the eve of Christmas Day, finishing up small packing and cleaning and then starting our drive to Austin that week afterwards. It will be a difficult transition for both of us as individuals as well as on our relationship. It's a scary but exhillerating experience. Whatever happens happens for a reason.


Right now though, money has become a huge issue. The cost of a moving truck, gasoline, food, lodging, and paying for apartments is outrageous. We've come this far though so that money will be there eventually. I'm believing that. We've come to far for it to fall apart at the seems now.


So that's that for now!

Day 7 of 9

Oh! This girl is EXHAUSTED. As the title states, today is day 7 of flying straight in a row! Two more to go after todays single flight from MSP to MEM. Sadly though, I will only have two days off before heading out for a 5 day trip.

I did a two day trip with Rachel (also a flight attendant whom was in the same class with me) in which we flew into LAX on a earlier flight in order to enjoy some down time at Venice Beach. We got home the following night around 11 PM. Unfortunately, I had picked up an additional 3 day that started at 7:45 AM the following morning. Which meant by the time I got home around 12, spent some time with Josh and preparing my bag, I didn't get to bed until 1AM. I was back up at 6 AM to get ready. Another snow storm had hit overnight leaving me little time to drive to the airport safely. I was going 15 mph on I-215. It was soo slick and Utah had not prepared the roads at all. That was not the worst. It continued to snow ALL day long causing serious delays. Our initial flight was late due to it taking FOREVER to push back from the gate and the long line to de-ice the aircraft. Once we were on our way we were an hour behind. We knew this was going to cause some possible missed connections for the passengers coming back into SLC with us. Well, of course other variables had to show thier ugly faces that day. Our back lavatory broke. That meant we had to have our maintenance team come out and look at the lavatory to make sure that our aicraft was still safe to fly. Let's add some more to that. The Vice President of Inflight was on our aircraft and sitting in my first class cabin. I was certain to follow all P's and Q's even more than I normally do. it was awful that we were now even another hour delayed. We had definite missed connections. I did walk through the cabin a lot answering what questions I could and reassuring passengers of how they would get to thier destinations. When there is weather the airline is never responsible. They'll try to do all they can to help but we don't control the weather! That's a hard concept for some people. Most people realize this and just go with the flow. Sometimes that's all you can do.  However, one lady had had an issue with us from the very begining. Intially it started with her having to gate check her bag. Which means it goes under a different part of the aircraft and it's returned to you immediately as you deplaned. I reassured her that even with her tight connection she would stil lreceive her bag. Then, I couldn't believe what she did next! She actually complained verbally to us about the passenger she was sitting next to, stating that she didn't feel safe and was very nervous because he was of Indian descent. I was appalled at her ignorance and disrespect. Even the people around her were shocked. The only open seat we had was the exit row and with behavior like that and her nervousness WE didn't feel safe with her sitting there. I felt bad for the passenger  sitting next to her. You can't group all of them together like that. Awful....some people just don't THINK! (she did miss her connection with absolutely no sympthy from me!)

Once we landed in SLC we were over 2 hours late. And we still had one more flight to go! A 3 hour flight at that! No time to eat and barely any time to go in and use a real restroom we hurried to get on our way knowing that we were still going to have to de-ice yet agtain. It was still snowing and hadn't let up at all. We did make it to our overnight in IAH that evening but 2.5 hours late. That day wore me out and it was only day 3. Our next day was jsut two long flights and when we arrived in SAT at 2 PM I went straight to bed. I even skipped out on dinner with my crew. I just couldn't do it. I needed the rest. We got home the following morning around 8 AM. Unfortuanately, it took me 45 minutes just to scrape a foot of snow nad ice off of my car. It was only 10 degrees that morning as well and with no gloves. . . . I wasn't a happy person doing that. To make it worse, the gas light came on while trying to warm up a car that the heat element is going out on. EERRRGGGG!!!!! Off to the gas station I went. Finally got home around 10 AM and had a full day.

I got to spend a little time with Josh before he headed off to work. I went to the grocery store, went to the hospital to have my blood work done to try to rule out possibilities for the hot flashes (I got the results today and need to see and endocrinologist), went to the chiropractor's office and Dr. Frogley had no choice but to release me from care due to the accident back in September. Now I am on my own to have my insurance pay for the continued care I need to continue my spinal manipulation to fix things. I'm okay with that though since I have great insurance right now. Although it is costly but cheap for me with all the things going on currently. I cleaned the apartment and did all the laundry. Then, I made a beef stew in the new crockpot and cooked a turley breast since it travels soo well in my lunch bag. Nothing is better than turkey sandwhiches. Talk about a full day!

I started a 4 day yesterday. I did NOT want to go to work. I wanted to stay home soo much. I'm just tired of being gone. i miss being home. I was also a bit concerned because my flight attendant was switched at the last minute and I was now flying with a brand new flight attendant who has only been here for about 3 months. So since she hasn't flown a 700 or 900 aircraft, needless to say she learned a lot from me yesterday! It seems to be a very communicative trip though. I've been careful about the way that I suggest things to her so that I don't come off offensive. She seems responsive to a lot of it though.

One of our flights yesterday was amazing. It was our first flight. I had a family of four in the back with me. There was a little 2 year old namde Jase. I sat and played with him while we were boarding. He was getting a bit antsy during the service so I asked for permission from the parents to take him with me to the front of the cabin. Kids LOVE to push the carts. They feel soo important when they get to help us. I try to do that when I see kids struggling. I picked up the trash and he got to push the cart. Everyone loved watching him and commented on how adorable (and he was!) he was, and helpful, etc. When we got to mom and dad in the back he didn't want to sit with them. He wanted me. He turned to me, put his arms up and asked me to pick him up. I ended up holding him and playing for over half of the flight! He played with my heair, earrings, and necklace. He talked and talked and talked. He made my day. I hated to see them get off the plane! The other two flights went well as well. I've given the other f/a ideas on packing her lunch bag and how I keep my stuff cold so we took a trip to Target since there is one 2 blocks from the hotel here in MSP to get the things she needed for her bags. Plus we NEEDED gloves! Two more days! I can't wait to be home Saturday. I need some rest time! Really I want a nice hot bubble bath! I even got up this morning and worked out for 45 minutes! Go ME!!!

Palm Reading

I had a 2 day trip with Rachel and our first day was just a deadhead to LAX. We decided to go a bit earlier and hang out at Venice Beach. All we really did was walk around and look at all the vendors and the CRAZY people. Holy smokes! I saw way more of people then I cared too!

One thing I thought of was that we should have our palms read! Rachel backed out on me but I decided to have both of my palms read.

 Here's the details:

• I don't use logic as much as I use my intuition and luck. That line is very prominent. I'm very intune with my sign and am a very STRONG scorpio. **We already knew that!**
• Although have a lot of problems with my menstrual cycle it won't interfere with the two potential children.
• When I get married it's a lifetime committment and there is only one in my future.
• Although I have problems with my back and neck and always will that it won't interfere with my long life span ahead of me (she's saying in my 90's!!!)
• She asked if I knew someone of an Earth sign. My immediatea question if a February birthday was one (Josh's bday) and she said no. But that I would meet an Earth sign, most likely a Virgo around Dec. 20th in a social group that would become a love interest. Rachel, Josh, and myself don't agree with that all!!!! Awful Idea!
• She said that there was a personal trip coming up in December, April (this is to be a special occasion trip) and in July. WE have talked about going to Tokyo so perhaps that is one of them.
• She stated also that a job change was coming soon after the first of the year but that a career would take off in the next two years. Two years is about what I have to finish my Early Childhood and Elementary Education degree. I'm certainly excited about that!

It was definitely a different experience. I enjoyed it though! Things happen for a reason but I'm not going to rely on what she said especially since I don't agree with certain parts!

Rachel had been to Venice Beach a lot so there was a place she wanted to eat that had pupusas. I've never had one before. They are two tortillas filled with meat and cheese and then topped with cabbage and hot sauce. I tried one that was chicken.

It sure was yummy! I also tried a churro and a spinach empanada for the first time as well. We did stop for happy hour beverages. We had a PITCHER OF WINE! Seriously? A pitcher?

Classy huh?!

Overall it was a good night. It did get pretty chilly down by the water but all that wine sure warmed us up!



Gobble Gobble

What a day Thanksgiving was! I cooked the turkey as Mimi had in the past by cooking it overnight in the oven and seasoning it as basic as I could. Butter, salt, and pepper. Perfect. It was done around 6 AM and I got up and took it out. I also made green bean casserole, baked macroni and cheese, stuffing, rolls, and mashed potatoes with gravy. The only thing I knew by heart how to make was the casserole. Josh had mentioned having the basked macroni and cheese which I had to search for a recipe online for. Lucky for me he got up early than he probably wanted and helped make the cheese sauce for the dish. A lot of it needed to be prepared all at the same time and it was difficult to manage so I was thankful that Josh got up and helped.

I had watched The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade that morning. It's something that I've always done. We ended up eating around 1:30. One plate and we were both full. It was certainly a lot to eat for just the two of us! But I was extremely proud of myself for preparing so much of it. Josh said it was good and had two additional plates later that evening so I'm sure he wasn't lying to me.

I had emailed his mom a few weeks earlier to ask about any traditions that they had for Thanksgiving. I knew he would miss being home with his family since everyone was getting together for his aunt's birthday. And I knew they would miss him being there too. She said that he and his sister always requested red (cherry) jello from his grandma.....so Cherry Jello it was. That was a little surprise for him. I also made a pecran pie and a pumpkin pie. I really wanted to get a Chocolate Pie from Marie Callender's but money was a bit tight and I figured we didn't need 3 pies between the two of us. I was right. We still haven't finished the two. Although, the pumkin pie must have been good because Josh ate a lot of it!

We didn't have our dining room table yet so I set up our coffee table with a centerpiece and tall candles along with a gold tablecloth. It looked pretty and sophisticated.

We did have a lot of turkey left over but that was the original plan anyways. I've alwawys loved having turkey sandwhiches afterwards and knew it would be perfect for all of my trips coming up for work. MMmmm G-O-O-D!!!

We were lazy most of the day although I did do a few loads of laundry, vacummed, dusted, swept and mopped. I hadn't planned on sweeping and mopping but we had a minor sink issue. I had clogged the sink and garbage disposal with the leftover cooked macroni. UUUgggg!!! We sat and hoped it would eventually drain but no such luck. Josh took the pipe under the sink off spewing water all over him and the kitchen (apartment maintenance refused to come as it wasn't deemed worthy) so I had a lot to clean up.

Over all it was a good day. We did end up going to Wal-Mart around 11:30 for a few sale items. It was a first for both of us and certainly not something I'll do on a regular basis!

Hopefully next year we aren't sitting by ourselves but surrounding by family!

White Wonderland

We got our first REAL BIG snow storm last time. It was originally suppose to start with a bit of rain and then turn to snow. Well. . . . HA, it rained for whole like 3 minutes! Seriously! Then it was snow Snow SNOW!

Larissa (one of Josh's old roomies from the house at Bryce's) and I went to Olive Garden for a few appetizers and adult beverages...mmmmMMMMM Peach Bellinis are aaahhhh! Yummy! Well by the time she got to our apartment it was insane. So I drove from our apartment to OG. It was soo hard to drive and scary after the accident. I think that's a bit normall I suppose. Dinner was fantastic though. It was a great chance to hang out with her again! We got to catch up on soo much though. We ruined our tradition of eating dessert first though.

Josh got home from work a bit later and we got to watch a bit of tv before the power went out. Our apartment is around a large amount of power lines. When the power went out it seemed like the generator or something was trying to come back on but couldn't fully. Each time it tried our power flickered in the apartment. We gave up on it and lit a few candles that I had in the apartment. It was actually kind of nice to not have to deal with the technology and actually just get to sit, talk, and enjoy each other's company. We actually got to REALLY discuss a few things and come up with a few plans. OCD me LLLLOOOVVVEEEDDD that!

When we woke up this morning we had our power back on. And LOTS of snow! I bet there was a good 3 inches! The mountains look sooo pretty when they're covered with snow! I really hope maybe we can try snowboarding again. Josh is a bit paranoid about his knee though so I don't know if I can talk him into it. Plus we have soo much to pay for in the next coming weeks. So we shall see . . .

Then later today we went to The Cheesecake Factory for what was suppose to be brunch ended up being a very VERY late lunch. But on our way there. . . .SLEET like CRAZY. The streets were getting a bit slippery too. Luckily we to got there safe and sound and got to enjoy a wonderful lunch together. Now it's a lazy night. He's working on homework and I'm watching my Jerseylicious!

I Feel . . .

Why do some people think it's okay to hurt you, leave you, and then just show up like none of it ever happened? Request a friendship that was lost because of them in the first place? I don't get it. I just really don't. It's not okay. I have my damn trust issues anyways I don't need to put myself though a second round. I don't do second chances. You screw up once bad enough and that's it for me. I've dealt too much with some people that I just don't have a desire to be that forgiving and forgetful just so THEY can feel better about themselves. I'm sick of it!

I'm sick of everyone thinking that I should deal with everyone else's crap but no one wants to listen to me. No one really knows what I feel or what I think. It's frustrating to not have anyone that I can go to. It's lonely.

I feel like I do soo much for some people and no one really ever does anything thoughtful for me. I go out of my way for some and never get anything in return. I don't feel appreciated. I don't feel important. I just feel taken advantage of. I don't like this. I always think it will change but it never does. It never does....

Knowing Your Finances

There's nothing worse than not knowing your financial status. Maybe worse would be knowing it but ignoring it. I'm no expert and I've learned things the hard way. I'm still absolutely not where I should be which is pathetic in my book. It's dissapointing to be this old and unprepared. I'm starting to get to the point where I want this organized. Everything else in my life seems to be except this! How awful is that? I could sit an explain why it's like this, the causes and excuses, but bottom line, it doesn't FIX anything!

So here's the new plan. I have to find a way to make this work. Regardless of what it takes!!!

My 401k is not large at all. Definitely not where it should be and Suze Orman would be kicking my A$$ for taking it out when I moved to Utah. I could have found a different way to make that work at the time but it seemed like the easy way out at the time because it was just sitting there. At then not to mention the taxes I had to pay on that! Ugh! Not a smart move. I've been enrolled with my 401k here at the airline for about 2 years now and it's not much. I've decided to increase my percentage. It's not by a lot and I really don't think it's going to make a significant difference in my paychecks but it will make a huge difference when I have the opportunity to retire. The only thing that I'm not liking is that my 401k is held with Wells Fargo. I'm not a huge fan of thiers. I'm working on that and hoping that I can come to terms with it. besides my money won't always be there! So it's fine for now.

Something else that I've considered is the Wells Fargo Advisors. Depending on the cost (still need to look into that part) just to make sure that I'm on the right track for retirement, saving, and etc. I've received a package from them that I'm still looking at but I'm excited about having a PLAN and sticking to it to be successfull as an individual.

I have a kit from Suze Orman as well. It's here:http://www.suzeorman.com/igsbase/igstemplate.cfm?SRC=MD002a&SRCN=catalogdetail&ProductID=21&StartRow=1&GnavID=10&SnavID=48&TnavID= . I love this kit. I haven't had a chance to have everything completed but certainly well on my way. Definitely something I think everyone should have. It's for your own well being. One plus: it's super organized! We know I LOVE that! There are several of her books that I have as well and I've thoroughy enjoyed them and learned a lot. I suggest looking over her page for additional items. Every indiviual should have these documents!! Especially those that have children...but it would be good for someone to have one thing to look for should something happen to me and know where everything is financially. It would make things easier.

I also have my employee stock purchase plan. They take around $50 a paycheck out and 2 times a year they invest that money. Unfortunately, I've had to take that money out in the past but I am making it a huge goal to leave it alone. It's like an extra savings account. I just need to keep my hands off of it. I should have another deposit in January.

We get bonus checks each quarter as well. It's usually not a lot. But I was thinking about using that next year to take a family for the holidays to buy gifts and food items for them. I think that would be a great thing to do, especially since we get a free turkey each year. Granted I could very well use that money I know that there are families that need it much more than I do.

My student loans are probably the worst. I need to get them out of default so that I can go back to school to finish my early childhood and elementary education degree. It's something that I always go back to and would love to have my own classroom. This is problem though, one university is saying that I owe them money for a semester that I wasn't even there for. I was enrolled and attending another university.

So I certainly have a lot to work on. Lucky for my I have next week off. Yes it's a holiday week and I'll have plenty to do to keep my little tail busy but I'm going to work on this stuff as well . . . . hopefully.

NOT ME!

The flight attendant I'm flying with could very well be my mother (sorry MOM!) because she's the same age. We've chatted a lot about relationships though since she spoke openly about her two marriages AND her two divorces. I've learned a lot. Especially about what I DON'T want. I'm sure I already knew most of this but after hearing her experiences it a MUST NOT!

• Controlling: especially about money, having to ask for permission
• Selfishness: only spending time with one side of family (umm, definitely not fair!)
• Finances: BOTH people should always be involved and know what the status is!

After hearing her experiences I can't imagine having something like that. It would be awful!!! She had to have permission to spend money, to go places, to do things, had no say when it came to her children, and had no idea what the finances were. How is that a partnership?! Holy cow! It's sad that some people in end up in relationships like that. Hopefully I never EVER experince something like that. I'm too damn independent to allow someone to TELL me what to do or even HOW to do it. PPsshh!!!! Not this girl.

I'm definitely missing home. I really want to go home. I'm tired and it's really just not fun anymore. I would rather be home every night. It's a chance to eat three regular meals everyday at the proper times. I was up at 3 AM SLC time this morning. Now, I can be a morning person but not like that! Ugh!

I actually have a great crew. The f/a actually talks, the pilots are involved in how we're doing in the back. It's kind of like my first crew. And they are soo helpful!

We're in Edmonton ( in Canada) tonight. It's a chilly 17 degrees...more like freezing!!! I'm certainly not going anywhere....this is nothing for them too. How awful it would be to live here during winter! We get 50& off here so the entire crew is going to dinner at 6. Haven't done that in a while!

Free Turkey!

Well, good thing it's going to be free considering Josh and I don't really know how to fix one. It's going to be interesting that's for sure. I'm guessing I'm going to need to look a few things up and he wants to deep fry one. I'm not sure that's a good idea with us living in an apartment. I don't want to end up on the local television station for burning down our apartment! Oh how is it FREE? SkyWest provides us a certificate where we have the option to get a free turkey or ham up to a certain pound, normally around 12. They are being sent out this week which is perfect since we'll be doing the shopping this coming weekend for the list.

Josh said he had wanted backed macroni and cheese. Another thing I don't know how to make! I looked a few recipes up on different food websites and think I may have found a good one. So that's the side he gets to pick and my choice is green bean casserole. I'm going to try for some mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and rolls as well. So we'll be eating leftovers for a while but cheaper on the grocery bill for the next week coming.

Pies? Hmm...definitely a pumpkin and a pecan. I really want a chocolate pie but I'm just going to purchase one of those from a local bakery in SLC. That's one I'm not sure about making.

I really wanted us to have our dining room table by now but we're having to pass on that. There are too many possibilities right now that adding a dining room table to our apartment could add for more stress later. So I'm thinking I will just dress up the counter and we'll use the coffee table as out dining room table for now. I just would like for it to be nice. I'm use to not being home for the holidays now because of flying. This, however, will be Josh's first holiday without his family and I'm sure it won't be easy on him or his mom. But he's going home for Christmas so we just need to get through this holiday.

And after Thanksgiving? We're considering going shopping the day after. Yes, we might endure that madhouse shopping trip. I've been playing with the idea of helping a family out. It's probably too late this year to do so but maybe next year. I'd like to pass on purchasing gifts and help a family out with a meal and toys and stockings stuffed. Seems like a great idea. I just am not sure that I have the extra money this year to make it worth it for a smally family. Perhaps I'll save my bonus checks next year and do that...that would be 3 by the time the holidays roll around.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Decorating Christmas

I'm eager to start decorating for the holidays. I've really have the urge to try this whole vinyl lettering thing and there a lot of ideas I have. I think I might try putting some pieces together. Maybe I'll  hit up a few stores tomorrow for my own satisfaction with a little birthday money. Besides, I should do what I want with it right?

Definitely check out the Wonderfullywordy.blogspot.com and look at the Christmas ideas she has posted. I really want to try and put this look together but maybe in some different colors. She did it without red this year to try to get away from the normal colors of Christmas just has she had with Halloween. I love it and think it looks beautiful and so elegant! There are a few other ideas that I have as well.

I'm going to skip over Thanksgiving decorating. It will just be Josh and I so I'm not concerned about it yet. We won't even have a table :-( yet.  I'm more worried about Christmas. I really want to have a tree (colors seem to still be up in the air and the lights as well. I want white and Josh wants colored. Yuck!!!) with the gorgeous ornaments. Josh says we need a star on the top and I want an angel. I'm starting to think we might have to have two different trees. But I just want it to look nice and sophisticated and that just seems to be how I am. It's the OCD I think.

I guess we will just have to wait and see how things turn out in the next few weeks. We won't be buying much right now for the apartment and I suppose I shouldn't be worried about doing the vinyl but it's something I'm really interested in and want to try out. I think I would be good at it!!! I need a hobby anyways! I did a few things for Halloween as a start and while they aren't that great yet they still served their purpose. Oh well. I'm sure Josh will tell me that I shouldn't be concerned with decorating right now and until we know what the next few weeks hold.....more details on that later!

No Great Title Tonight

Well it's nearly the end of my second trip back. It was another five day trip and my body is still adjusting as much as it was last week. Infact, this week from my knees down to my toes I had swelling. I even made a call into Dr. Frogley (the chiropractor) to make sure I shouldn't be too concerned since we had tried new therapy on Monday morning. He gave me some new things to do to help. My crew hasn't been as fun and entertaining but they are still okay. The captain still kind of gets to me though . . . .just odd. I have another 4 day and then a 2 day right afterwards. I may need to rethink that. Afterwards though I have several days off to focus on my chiropractic care and prepare for Thanksgiving. I'm hoping to cook a lot!


I had a kid's mom today try and buy him a beer. He was probably close to be 21 but I had a feeling he wasn't quite yet. Well, we can't serve minors in the air either (DUH!) and so when I asked for his ID he said he didn't have it. Mom chimes in stating that she's buying it for him. Last time I checked, the depended on consuming the product as well as purchasing it. Here's the other thing, you have to have an ID to get through security!!! I wanted so badly to inquire about that but let it go, knowing that I had won regardless and he wasn't getting the drink from me. Plus his behavior was just immature and it was obvious. Ridiculous.


Speaking of airports. There has been a lot of hype about the new body scanners. Crew members, especially, refuse these. In SLC I've never been asked to go through one while in uniform. Although, in other airports they have no problem requiring you to. Well, not this girl! I've had a 10 year FBI, YES F-B-I background check. I'm pretty sure no flight attendant in history has attempted to blow up her own airplane. Even though you go through the body scanners you still get a very inappropriate pat down. Well, while I'm in uniform I'm certainly not going to get padded down in front of my passengers and be violated. So this morning in MEM (Memphis) I refused to go through the body scanner (there was a regular entry less than 10 feet away) and they weren't too happy. So I told them that if I went through the body scanner then I wanted a private room for the pat down. They don't have time for that so I went through the regular one. This also allowed all crewmembers (about 7) behind me go through the regular entry as well. GO ME!!!


The flight attendant last week gave me a RAVE (recognizing a valuable employee). It stated this:

I had the pleasure of working with Courtney for a 5 day trip and she was not only wonderful to work with, she made me proud to be a part of SkyWest. She is professional, hard-working, efficient, flexible, kind and really has everyone's best... interest at heart. She cares deeply about all people--passengers, co-workers, crew and goes to high measures to take care of everyone as best she can no matter how long the day or how frustrating the situation. Courtney looks amazing, is a true professional and gives excellent, efficient and genuine service but above all she is a sweetheart and really cares and it is so nice and very refreshing to work with someone who puts their heart into everything they do. Thank you Courtney!

It was fantastic to read that. I felt so valuable and important. I felt like someone finally realized who I am and how I am. It was very VERY rewarding I must say. So to get 4 carry-on tags along with a RAVE.....GO ME #2!!!!

Headed home tomorrow. Unfortunately, I get home after Josh has gone to work. I guess it will give me a chance to have some quiet time to just release some energy and have some one on one time with M&A. Miss my lil babies! But I know Josh is taking great care of them while I'm away. I miss them all.  Hoping this weekend is better than last. I'm hoping there won't be a lot of chores to do except maybe a little bit of laundry. I could seriously use a pedicure! My poor feet have gone through a lot this week and need some lovin!!!

Well I'm off to bed. A happy flight attendant is a well rested flight attendant!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Courtney

My First Trip

My last trip, which was my first trip back after being gone for 3 months was great. I had probably the best crew for a 5 day trip. Everyone was soo respectful of one another and very supportive. None of us had any disagreements. It was amazing!

The flight attendant that I was flying with actually being a Lead Flight Attendant which can be seen as a lower part of management. I wasn't aware of this until the second or day third. You wouldn't have known it though. She didn't act like a lead, didn't even wear her wing attatchment. Even our captain was an Air Line Checkman. He checks out the pilots for line checks and so forth.

He was wuite different as well. We ended up having a maintenance issue with our emergency lights on day 3 leaving MSP. Maintanence commented and pressured us that we were fine to go and that the a/c had been left on so the battery that our emergency exit lights operate off of were drained but the longer the a/c was on they would charge back up. They said that by the time we got to our destination that they would be operative. Ummm HELLO!!! My concern was that if we had to, for some crazy reason, abort our take-off and eveacuate our a/c that we wouldn't have lights! Yes of course this is a hypothetical situation but I don't want to be the next one one the news being blamed for injuries or much worse, a death of a passenger. Like Josh said, it's better to be the known heros. Our captain was amazing and supportive of both myself and the other f/a. Niether of us felt that it was safe or comfortable. So we didn't go until they were charged. Once they were charged there were still a few that wouldn't come on so we switched out the battery that those ran off of and then waited for those to charge before we chose to board and get on our way. Soo many captains wouldn't have done that. He actually ended up giving us a carry-on tag.

It's a new program that the airline is trying. We get little carry-on tags for following our guiding principles. He gave us one for not compromising safety. They look like this:

One side has an ID # we cant enter on our website to be put into drawings for different prizes. The current one is for a SkyWest model a/c. I ended up getting 4 by the end of the trip. The lead I was flying with gave me two. Then on our last flight home we were getting an audit and she gave me one as well. I think I'm going to hold on to the other 3 or at least two to see what the next drawing is for.

So it was a good trip. I felt like I did a good job. I was pleased with myself. I just wish management had seen it or knew that I really am not a bad person. Oh well. At least I had a great first trip back. I have another 5 day trip starting on the 8th.

Dissapointment

I haven't done anything on this trip that I wanted to. I haven't worked out (at least walking on the treadmills), I haven't gone out on longer overnights to really explore. Well, in Minneapolis I tried to but the shopping district of Niccollet Mall was ridiculous, I did find Target firld by accident but of course I couldn't see inside or anything, and there were more bars than anything. Even here in Billings, MT I haven't done anything either. I just hurt. I was even in tears last night. The pain in my back is just awful. It hurt to sit or lay down last night and after standing all day, that's all I wanted to do. My TENS unit is dead fromt he deadhead on the first day and unfortunately I don't have access to get a new one. I know it's going to take some time for my body to get used to flying. Yes my back is the cause for a lot of it but even my legs and arms hurt quitea bit. I can't wait to get home to take a nice hot bath with some lavender epsom salts. I need to get all the icky stuff out of my body. If my trip next Monday started later then I would try to schedule a massage in there too. Hopefully, by the next trip I will be able to start really getting back into things and be more comfortable. I really want to start working out. I've never weighed this much and it just doesn't feel like my body anymore. I even tried to pack healthy food but I don't think that my food has stayed cold enough so some of it I'm scared to eat now. I need to find a more efficient way to keep things super cold. My sandwhiches held up well but the salmon hasn't. I really wish it had though. Josh seasoned it and cooked it for me and I feel awful that I didn't get to eat it. It ended up leaking all over my bag. I've had my lunch bag for almost 4 years now. I think it's time for a new one. It's the same brand as my suitcase. Here is my suitcase...SUPER DUPER HEAVY WITH NOTHING IN IT!!!

It's an awesome bag,. It has a steel frame so it can hold up to anything you put it through. Here is the lunch bag I want. It's the same one that I have but a bit bigger and actually has the hooks to connect on to my suitcase which would help even out the weight.

Mine is practically destroyed inside so I may have to break down and by a new one. It's timje to put the other one to rest really. While we are on the  topic of things I want, here's another!!!

You can get them in different colors but it's a small video recoder. How awesome would it be to have one of those?!?! I found one on ebay for about $60. I might need that for Christmas! I think it's super cool.

Well I'm off to get ready and get my crap all together. It's another long day. But here is one of our new uniforms!

Buh-Bye!!!

Montreal eh?!

.....that's where I'm at tonight.

It's been an interesting first day back. I wasn't as on top of my game as I would have liked but I did pretty well. I got up at 5:40 AM (pretty sure Josh didn't like that) and left the house extremely early just to make sure I was early and nowhere near late (I've been having nightmares that keep me awake about being late and getting in trouble on my first day back). Well I was good and early...and ENTIRE hour! But it ended up being a good thing. The other flight attendant that I was going to be working with for the first round trip was late...seriously late, so I ended up doing all of the preflighting (checking emergency equipment for proper use) and getting the entire aircraft ready for flight. It was a pretty decent first flight. I did have to read my announcements because after not saying them for 3 months...well they're in my head but that doesn't correspond well with my mouth right now. I'm sure it will all come back by the end of this 5 day trip. I'll have plenty of flights to practice them on!

I was even in a really really good mood and got along with everyone...and everyone felt like they were being spoiled with me. I overheard a lot of comments about how positive and nice I was...HA, TAKE THAT!!!

The second flight....they must be out to get me! The FAA ended up being on board! Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!? It's my first day and here I am getting checked out by them? Well, I didn't. He sat in the flight deck with the pilots. Check! Off the hook!!!! Funny thing is- last night I felt like I was forgetting something important. Then I remembered that I had my flight attendant certificate in the glove box of my car and not with my other badges. This is a BIG requirement now. So in order to remember this morning when I was sure that I was going to be scattered brains, wrote a note on my hand. So good things I remembered last night! I would have been in BIG trouble had he sat in the back and I didn't have my required items!!! Whew!!!

We then deadheaded ( postive space seat on a flight in uniform as a passenger rather than working) to Minneapolis, MN. Awful Awful Awful flight. I cannot sit for that long. It hurt my back and hip sooo bad. I was using my TENS unit until the battery ran out. It was just soo uncomfortable. To add to it, one passenger next to me did nothing but huff and puff and complain the entire time!

I then met up with the crew again ( a new f/a and new captain, they had used user time to have the first round trip off ) and we headed off to Montreal. Boy am I exhausted and sore! I'm finding new muscles! Luckily tomorrow is just one short (2 hour flight) back to Minneapolis and I'm done for the day. I may have to rest a bit before heading out to explore. I had plans of working out but I don't know that that is going to happen on this trip. My body is sore from all the take offs and landings and the exertion and toll it takes on your body. I forgot about all of that. No wonder passengers get so dang crabby. 

The hotel here in Montreal is pretty posh as well. Very different but comfortable. It's cold here and you feel like you're in Europe. Everyone is smoking and speaking in French. We seem out of place. I took some pics of the hotel room so I'll post those tomorrow on here and revise the blog. Hopefully I can find a postcard for Hannah. I did have them stamp my passport since I hadn't been here before. Bad news: short overnight and my salmon leaked in my food bag....STINKY!!!!

Well this girl is off to dream land. Sweet dreams!!! XOXOXO

Random

I think I miss my one bedroom apartment. It was sooo much easier to clean! This additional bathroom and bedroom is a pain by myself!!!

I figured that before this trip I would clean clean clean this apartment. It would be one less thing to worry about while I was gone. Hopefully it will stay this way while I'm gone too! The list included:

• all laundry
• sweeping
• mopping
• vacuuming
• dusting
• all dishes
• all trash (ppsshh and litter box...eeww)
• I also did additional cooking for my trip

I cleaned the bathrooms yesterday so that was one less thing I had to do. So tomorrow hopefully since everything is done, Josh and I can spend some time together. With his schedule right now we don't get a lot of that. With his work schedule (and prepping for his work classes at home), school (he has a paper due Monday) and sleep just doesn't leave a lot of time for me. I think that has been my hardest thing being home like this. I spend all day and all night by myself. Every meal by myself. Since he works so late at night it's hard for him to go to bed right when he gets home. So he's up late causing him to sleep in later and then he gets up to go to work. I'm jealous of the 2nd bedroom now. With the desk, computer, and a lot of his things in there, it makes it easier to do everything in there. I'm thinking the extra room was a mistake lol. It makes it hard for me to stay up that late to wait for him to get home since I'm used to waking up soo early. But even then he needs some alone time. He socializes all day with his class and needs the quiet time when he gets home....but me? yup I don't have that all day so I'm eager to socialize anytime he's awake. Wondering how things will be with me being gone. We will only have one day off together now and that's on most Sundays this month. Even then I picked up some extra trips to prepare for the holidays and to be able to pay him back some money from me being off. I know that wasn't easy. So it's all a bit frustrating right now. Hopefully it will get better soon though.

I picked up some post card stamps today. In the beginning I got Hannah a large united states map and a photo box. We had decorated it with airline decor and it was a place for her to store all the post cards I was going to be sending her. I've tried to send them to her from each new place I go. She also has pushpins to mark in the map. I told her we would start that up again since I had been lacking.

I'm eager for the following holidays. I've started making a menu for Thanksgiving. It looks like it will just be Josh and I in Salt Lake City. I'm not sure how to cook a turkey so it will be a learning experience. Everything else I know how to make. I'm hoping to make a few pies too. We'll certainly be eating a lot of left overs! But I LOVE LOVE LOVE turkey sandwiches. I can't wait to have enough turkey to be able to have a bunch! I'm hoping that we will be able to have our dining room table by then too. I would like to be able to eat at the table rather than in the living room like we have been. I just want to have it decorated and make the apartment feel more like home, especially for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas. I started looking at trees at Wal-Mart. There is one for about $40, which I didn't think was too pricey. I definitely want clear lights and two different colored ornaments. I saw some silver and light blue ones but I don't think Josh is going to go for that. I'm sure he will want green or red...or BOTH. We will need stockings too. I think I am going to get one for Molly and Aiden too and fill it with new treats and a few toys for them. I just want it to be pretty.

Well, tomorrow is Halloween so I hope everyone has a safe and happy one!

Just Me

Today has definitely been an off day. I'm irritable, agitated, and extremely emotional. It's frustration to go from one to the other, literally in less than 60 seconds, and even then they sometimes overlap. Talk about giving a girl a hot flash. Even those have been miserable today.

I think maybe the hot flashes are from the anxiety. I haven't been quite on top of the medicine and I can see the side affects of not taking it. I lose control over my emotions quickly. I can't even tell when. . . .it's like a lightening bolt; sudden, unexpected, and damaging. And then that lightening bolt is the ignition for the volcano of emotions overflowing into a pure mess. Does any of that make sense?

Anyways, there are a lot of emotions right now before Monday comes. In fact, Sunday night will be nerve racking. This whole time I have been on reserve and haven't been called. I will admit that has been a relief but perhaps a mistake, although one I'm okay with at the current time. See, it's all about control with me. I haven't had it in a lot of situations in my past so then when the opportunity arises that I do...watch out! I have been at the bottom of the list for reserve each day, simply because I have enough seniority. It wasn't just that though. Regardless, if I worked or not I was going to get paid the same. That wasn't going to make a difference at all (except maybe more chores getting done). Also, it was a matter of going back on my terms and not those of crew support (they can play diiirrrtyyyy!). So now here it is, me going back on my terms. Monday is a BIG HUGE day. And a long one at that. I have a 7:55 AM show time (time I have to be checked in for my trip and ready on the aircraft) and won't be finished until 22:37 (10:37PM) in Montreal (yup, that one there in Canada, eh). Talk about a LONG day for my official first day back flying.

Also, everyone seems to have an opinion about how I should handle things going back. Between management, two therapists, and myself, there have been decisions made on how to handle situations that may present themselves. It's extra frustrating though that the other individuals have all given me their opinions, assuming that their way is the correct way but yet haven't really asked me, COURTNEY, what I want to do about it and simply supporting it. Because at the end of the day, it's still my life, my experiences, and I'm the only one that needs to be okay with my decisions.

Christmas Cards & Photography

Recently on one of the blogs I follow there was an opportunity to enter a contest to win a photo session with a local photographer. I immediately fell in love with the idea and did what I could to enter. Unfortunately, I didn't win. However, she's offering everyone that entered 10% off. I thought it would be a fun idea for Josh and I to do this and make it into a Christmas card! I LOVE the idea to pieces! The $75.00 (but it's 10% off!!!) and includes one and half hours of shooting, 35 high resolution images on a disk, and we can do it anywhere here in the valley! I would love to have them taken up in one of the canyons. Besides, this is where we met so why not do this and take advantage of the amazing offer?! It's something we both like here in SLC too.  Best part: we don't have to order prints!!! She literally gives us the images on a disk with a copyright release so that we can print out our own! Umm, hello!! In Missouri that never happened, maybe it's changing with technology now. But make sure you check out her site here --->>>>Rachel Stephens Photography

I think this would be super cute as well to order Christmas cards with. We could even do different photos. I'm determined to be on top of cards this  year!

So now, just gotta talk Josh into it!!!